The Body Image Issue

In today's society life is hard enough trying to climb the ladder of success and make it on the treadmill of life. But once you clock out from that part of your day, you've got also got to climb the stairmaster and get on the actual treadmill. If you want to attract your perfect soul mate (or stay attractive to the one you've got) you have to maintain a certain body image or type. Or at least that's what society keeps telling us.

You have to try to cram in some gym time into your day even though as is, you don't have time to sit and breathe. You've got to carve out at least 30 minutes to an hour to work on getting that beach body so you can look right and trap (I mean catch) a man.

But the funny thing is, while we're going on the latest low carb, low fat, low cal, no sugar, no sodium diet, the guys are having some body issues too. They worry about having those sexy abs like the men in the magazines. While we're just trying to flatten and tone, they're chugging protein shakes and pumping iron in efforts to look good for us!

So why don't we all just go get some Ben n Jerry's and chill out!

P.S. - We condone a healthy lifestyle. Don't go too far one way or the other.

Swiper NOO Swiping!

So as most of you know, Longwood University is switching to a One-Card system in the fall (hopefully). The new system is really cool because you can use your card to do laundry (bye bye quarters!:), get a drink or snack from the vending machine, or even go out to a fancy shmancy restraunt and have dinner with your Lancer ID!

This has actually been a long and drawn out process that has been in the works for years and it is way overdue. Just about every other school in the state has this type of system available to students and I think it's about time we join in on all the swiping fun!

When I initially covered the story I just covered the newsy stuff with the 4Ws and the H. You can check the story out here...



But afterwards I got to thinking about the social implications of this amazing new system. And I thought about how it might affect the dating scene...

Will this be the new cop out for guys and dating? Will it become taboo to use your ID card to pay for a date? Or will it be acceptable now that you can use it for more than just the dining hall and a few other select dining options????

So I sought out a guy's perspective and a girl's perspective before I made the call on this one. The male perspective is junior Jeffrey Ryan and the female perspective is junior Tate Leftwich, both students will be here next year to reap the benefits of this new One-Card system.

SIV: Have you ever swiped your id card for a date?

JR: Yeah, I do it all the time! Moe's is expensive!

SIV: How will the additonal options on the id card help you in terms of dating?

JR: It's not going to help my dating game, but it would be a good thing.

SIV: So what are your thoughts on swiping and dating?

JR: There's nothing wrong with it. One shouldn't be considered cheap because he took a girl the union (The Student Union Cafe')

SIV: When do you think it's ok to swipe on a date?

TL: If you were dating I think that would be kind of o.k. (but not on the first date) It doesn't substitute for a restraunt or going out to eat

SIV: How do you think this new and improved card will help students in terms of dating?

TL: I think it would just make it more convenient

SIV: Would it change your opinion of a guy if he paid with his Lancer Bucks (i.d. card) instead of his debit or credit card?

TL: We're all in college so we have an excuse at times to be a little cheap.

So even though this new card will allow you to use your card at vendors like Charley's Waterfront Cafe', Mulligan's Sports Grille, Papa John's, and Shoney's, it doesn't necessarily make it o.k. to use it their on dates.

I think if you're out with friends it's perfectly fine, but definitely NO FIRST DATES FELLAS!!! I think the first date is the opportunity for you to prove that you can afford to pay for at least one meal. And even though you are theoretically in a round about way still paying for the money on your card... it doesn't count! Not in this particular situation. The first date is cash or credit only. It just would look a little tacky to pull out your id card when the check comes.

Now if you have been dating, on the other hand, you should be comfortable enough where it doesn't really matter who pays or how it gets paid as long as someone pays for the meal. Using your i.d. card may simply be more convenient for the fellas than always using the debit or credit card. Plus, ladies, you want a man with good credit so using the card that already has cash on it might be better than charging all of those meals in the long run!

So overall this will be a good thing for us all, but just don't go the cheap, easy route on the first date. After that, ladies, we should be grateful that he's still paying, even if it is on his Lancer Card! Nowadays the Independent Woman Movement has come back like a boomerang to bite us in the butt and some guys just don't want to pay anymore at all! Ladies are paying now. So perhaps this new card system will be the great equalizer for us all.

Valentine's Shmalentine's!

Love
The four-letter word that many fear to say
The four-letter word too many give away
On this Hallmark holiday that we've deamed V-Day
Some will be happy, some will be sad
Some will have boyfriend, some will have dad
Some will have no one, some will have friends
It's just another day, no matter how it ends.

As Valentine's Day approaches and I am constantly reminded of this watered-down excuse of a holiday, I just shake my head. SMH. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween... all of these have become commercialized by society, but they all at least began with a legitimate purpose. Christmas, Jesus. Thanksgiving, Appreciation. Halloween, Honoring the dead. Valentine's Day.... ????

At the end of the day it's just another day that we hype up a month in advance in attempts to make money, making people feel bad in the mean time. Men dread it because it means they have to be extra nice and romantic for no legitimate reason like a birthday or anniversary. Women dread it because if you're in a relationship he'll forget, and if you're not... well you're not! And not having someone to share this ridiculous holiday with is just down right depressing.

I am taking this weekend, not as Singles Awareness Day or Valentine's Day, but as Women's Empowerment Weekend! I am going to watch The Princess and the Frog on Friday to remind me that I, like Tiana, should focus on accomplishing my own dreams before obsessing over the whole Prince Charming concept. On Saturday I am treating myself to dinner and a movie with my roommate! And even though we're going to watch "Valentine's Day" and have our angry-man-hating moments, we will be happy because we will be together. (Plus romatic comedies give you hope... false hope, but hope nonetheless). On Sunday, I will conclude my Women's Empowerment Weekend with the Vagina Monologues! A play that really gets to the heart of women's issues and will hopefully bring good closure to our V-Day.

And as much as I would like a dozen roses on February 14th, I know that that's not going to happen! So instead of being upset and getting all worked up about this that and the other, why don't we all just have a really great weekend!

Who's Really to Blame???

When a relationship ends it can end pretty ugly leaving tears flowing on either side. The question is always who is to blame? You have to blame someone right? If it all comes crashing down on you like an avalanche, the relationship must have ended because someone at some point did something so terribly wrong.

Most females pick one of the two responses - Men suck or it's all my fault.

I hate to see us go down the it's-all-my-fault road, because that only sends you into a spiraling lane of misery and self-destruction. After a break-up, the last thing you need is to pick apart every single thing you did wrong and what you could have done to make it work. The truth is, there's probably nothing you could have done to make it work. If someone wants to be with you, I mean really wants to be with you, they will! Flaws and all. You can work through most of the little things, so any little thing you said or did would not have changed the outcome of the situation. It is important to know that it IS NOT your fault. (And even if it is, blaming yourself WILL NOT help or change the situation).

So get off the couch, stop eating that gallon of ice cream and go for my personal favorite approach. Men suck!

It's all their fault, and until they realize the error of their ways, you are much better off without them! So often, men break up with girls and make up reasons why it wasn't working that make it seem like it's all your fault, but it's not. The reality of the situation is that they are the one with the problems and issues that they need to work out. You are perfectly fine just the way you are, and they are just not ready. They don't know how to handle being with someone like you. And even though it's gonna hurt, and he's gonna blame you, you have got to just get out your one good cry, and then keep it movin!

You have to take some time to step outside of the situation and see it for what it's worth. This may seem like the worst thing that could possibly happen to you at this point in your life, but in all actuality, this may be the biggest favor somebody could do to you. When people show you who they are, believe them.

PS - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not spend your days wondering about "the other woman" and how you don't measure up to her. Believe me, the grass is always brown on the other side!