Are You Really Ready?

So this weekend I went on a Single's Retreat and it really gave me some perspective about life as a single woman. And I had to ask myself... Do You Really Want a Relationship?

Sometimes, when it seems like all of your friends are coupled up, engaged, or married, you find yourself wondering, 'Why can't I have that?' or 'Why can't I find someone?'. But in all actuality, you may not have someone because you may not be ready for a relationship! You have to assess your single self and make sure you are really ready before you ask for a mate or sometimes even a date!

One of the most important things to do before you even worry about being in a relationship is to enjoy your time being single! We spend so much time searching for the next relationship that we forget to appreciate being alone. Once you find the one person you know you want to spend the rest of your life with, well, you have the rest of your life to be with them! But while you are single, it's so important to enjoy being single. You need to enjoy not having to be supportive and always having to be there for someone else. Enjoy being able to pick up and go when you want to. Enjoy your time with your friends. Enjoy living your life unattached to another person.

The second thing to do is somewhat similar to the first, but you have to get to know yourself. You have to know and fully understand what it means to be 1 before you become 2. Too often women go straight from their father's house to their husbands house, from raising their younger siblings to raising their own children without taking time to be on their own. If you never have a chance to live life on your own and make your own rules you will never really know what you like or who you are even. Take this opportunity as a single person to date yourself. Treat yourself to dinner and a movie or something that really makes you happy. Dating yourself will reassure you that you don't need someone else to provide happiness or joy for you. It's nice when someone is in your life and makes you happy, but you have to learn how to be content with yourself.

The most important thing to do before you even think about pairing up with another person is to prepare for your future. We all walk around with these mental checklists of what type of man or woman we want, but do we ever stop to think about their checklist? Are you the type of person someone would want to marry? Tall, dark and handsome. Funny, smart, and kind. Passionate, open-minded and a good cook. Become the type of husband or wife someone would want. Make a list of all of the things you want in a relationship and then make sure you can check off those things for yourself. You should work on gaining some life skills in the meantime too. Learn how to balance your checkbook and manage your finances. Have your own apartment for a while and know what it means to pay rent and utilities. Be able to bring something to the table when the time comes.

Even though it's difficult being single, don't envy those in a relationship because your time will come! So the next time you see your Facebook friend's relationship status change, don't feel bad about yourself, just realize that it is not your time yet. Being in a relationship requires a lot of time and effort and you just may not be ready for everything that means yet. In the meantime, become the best you that you can be and accomplish some of your goals before you become a we.