Money Matters Monday - The Secret Stash!

For this week's Money Matters Monday I want to uncover one of the biggest delimmas in a new marriage - Should a married couple have a joint account, separate accounts, or both?

**Warning I am not married and am therefore not attempting to give marital advice. If you are seeking marital advice I suggest you seek a liscensed professional. I am simply a single woman speaking from my own prosepective.

When two become one it seems like both lives should just merge perfectly together... but it doesn't quite work that way. It's actually very difficult to merge two individuals even if they're in love. When you're young and dumb you think love can conquer all and solve anything! But when you wake up and the real world smacks you in the face you realize that joining two lives is not as simple as jumping over a broom. You wind up with two couches, two blenders, two t.v.s and two bank accounts. And you'll probably end up fighting over whose is better and whether to keep both or pick one. But when it comes to finances should we merge our money? There are three different approaches you can take to marriage and money. You can either get a joint account, maintain your seperate accounts, or keep a secret stash!

Ideally speaking, once you put those rings on, there should be no more I and everything should become we. Having seperate accounts suggests that you are still individuals and not in the marriage together. If you're going to share your life together, you should be able to share a bank account and manage your funds together. Besides, when you get married you have joint expenses (like rent and stuff for the kids) so you might as well have a joint account.

Though I am always a fan of joint accounts, it makes me a little nervous to say throw it all in the pot. When you hear those stories about romances gone wrong and women being thrown out on the street without a dime to their name.... kinda makes you think twice! Even though marriage is supposed to be "happily ever after" in the back of your mind sometimes you have to think about the what ifs. What if he goes crazy and leaves me after I've invested all my time, money, and child-bearing hips? What if she changes after we get married? What if this just doesn't work out??? I hate to plan for the divorce while planning for the wedding, but if you keep your money seperate from the beginning it does make things easier if you do have to plan for the what ifs. But if you decide to both have seperate accounts at least it keeps things fair.

The third choice is not one that I recommend for a healthy marriage! But I had to mention it. ;) You could always have a joint account with your spouse and have your own secret stash somewhere that they don't know about. Money is a touchy subject though and is often at the root of most divorces so do not opt for this choice! Having your own secret stash could be handy when you want something that doesn't necessarily fit into the "household budget", but just remember that secrets always come out. What's done in the dark will come to the light. When your spouse wonders where you got the money for that new flat screen tv or those new Louboutins you'll have some explaining to do!

Financial guru Suze Orman suggests that new couples keep everything seperate until they clear up the debt they brought into the relationship. New couples often have school loans, credit card debt, and many more financial woes especially after spending thousands on a wedding. Take some time to put a dent in your individual debt and then once you become what Orman calls "more financially intimate" with each other, then maybe you can put all your gold in one pot. (Financially intimate = get to know how they manage money, their spending habits, etc.)

Whatever you decide, the important thing to do is communicate. You've got to be on one accord and talk about what works best for the two of you because every couple is different. In the end you may find that a Yours, Mine & Ours approach may work. That way you use the joint account for joint expenses like rent or lunch money for the kids and allot a certain amount to go towards your seperate accounts for personal splurges like haircuts and nail appointments. Just find a financial plan that works and try not to fight about it!

For help managing your funds (joint or seperate) check out Mint, the free way to manage all of your financial accounts!



Here's what you said on Twitter!

Should married couples have joint accounts or seperate accounts?

MsCrimson_S_nce @sexintheville: both...joint b/c when you're married everything becomes OURS but maybe have a separate one for your personal secret stash lol

hearterickalove @sexintheville: both..joint should be used for household bills, children and emergencies... separate accounts used for personal use
 
antrealist @sexintheville: Both.. I agree with @hearterickalove .. Because u want to have ur own account to buy a surprise gift for ur spouse

beseay @sexintheville: Couples should definitely have separate accounts. People have to protect themselves. Use joint accounts for family projects.

jmonee @sexintheville: both.

cno76 RT @sexintheville: Should married couples have seperate accounts or joint accounts? #both ;)