Domestic Violence - It goes both ways.

Close your eyes and think of a domestic dispute. What does the image look like?
If you're anything like me, this image is one of a battered wife or girlfriend who has been physically, mentally, or verbally abused by her husband or boyfriend.

But that is not always the case. Sometimes women are the ones who lash out at their significant other. This is the case in this recent episode of Teen Mom.

Amber is one of four teenage mothers featured on MTV's Teen Mom. And this is what their website has to say about her. "Amber is a self-proclaimed teenage party girl who dropped out of high school and grew up fast when she got pregnant with her baby, Leah. While her fiancé, Gary, works 12-hour days to support the family, Amber stays at home alone with Leah all day, and the stress of being a full-time mom is starting to add up. Amber's parents aren't able to help, and they can't afford childcare, so she does it alone. Amber doesn't have time or energy to see her friends, and when she tries to go out, Leah cries all the time. Gary doesn't understand, and they fight constantly about taking care of the baby. Amber wants to finish high school and realize her dreams of opening her own beauty salon -- but juggling high school, adult responsibilities, and a baby proves to be a lot harder than she thought."

So basically, Amber is getting frustrated with the stresses of being a teen mother and is taking it all out on the father, Gary. Gary loves Amber unconditionally, but she is just not ready to settle down with him. Amber is fighting the internal battle that most teen mothers face - the struggle between living the young single life and staying home to take care of your child.

Whatever Amber is going through, there is no excuse for the way she has treated Gary. She yells and screams at him and pushes all of his buttons. She constantly calls him fat, even thought she just recently lost a lot of weight. And to make matters worse, she physically hits the man! I never realized how abusive women can be until I saw the way she pushed him for a reaction. Watching this episode made me realize how sometimes women can go too far. I feel like sometimes women just do it because men can't (or aren't supposed to) hit back. Just because women are typically smaller in stature does not mean they can use men as their punching bags. Men are taught never to hit a girl when they are little, but who tells little girls not to hit boys? Noone.

No matter how frustrated or upset you get there is never a reason to hit someone. Men shouldn't hit women and women shouldn't hit men. There is no double standard there. It is not ok for women to hit men.

Warning Signs of an Abuser
1. Criticism of your good qualities
2. Mood swings
3. Irresponsibility
4. Attempts to control your whereabouts
5. Highly reactive
6. Disrespect toward you publicly and privately
7. Persistent Lying


"You are not alone. You are not to blame. You do not deserve to be abused."
- Unknown

Here's What You Said on Facebook!
SIV: Is it ok for women to hit their boyfriends/husbands? Under what circumstances?
JB: NO! not under any circumstances except for self-defense!

Roommate Rules

I recently moved into an apartment with two of my closest friends. I was so excited! My first apartment - the official transition from the twin bed to the full. A kitchen. A washer and dryer. A full size fridge. These were all things I had missed while living on campus (though I enjoyed my time there) and had saved to thoroughly enjoy in my senior year. What I didn't expect, however, was how living in an apartment would change my relationship with my roomies. But I quickly learned that living with roommates can truly prepare you for living with a future mate.

Like I said, these are not random roommates, these are close friends, so this is not a blog to bash them, nor am I saying they are terrible roommates. I am simply expressing the fact that in every relationship there must be communication, cooperation, and consideration. These three Cs will ease almost any living situation!

Communication is key to express your thoughts. I suck at expressing myself to those I love. I am a Communication Studies major and have little to no problem expressing myself in many aspects of my life. But for some strange reason I avoid communicating with the people closest to me at all costs. I am terrified of hurting their feelings or damaging the relationship so I usually tend to keep my feelings to myself. But it is important to speak up! (I'm learning and trying) If you feel a certain way, but don't tell your roommate, they will never know! So you may be upset that they left the dishes in the sink, but if you never tell them they'll have no idea.

Cooperation is also imperative to have a successful roommie relationship. For instance, I got so upset that the trash was just piling up, but one day I just asked myself, "What's more important - being upset that no one took the trash out or having no piles of trash in the house?" And as it turns out, taking the trash out myself made me feel much better than waiting around on someone else to do it. So sometimes you just have to work together and realize that the other person is not trying to do the little things that annoy you on purpose, they may have just had a busy day. Just be grateful that leaving the toilet seat up is not an issue (yet)!

Consideration is the last of the 3 Cs and probably the most important. Keep in mind that you are probably doing things to annoy them too. Wouldn't you want them to be considerate of your feelings and respectful of your needs. Most people in college nowadays grew up with a room to their selves and are not used to sharing space with people who do things completely different. We all grew up in different households and have been taught to do things differently. You have to learn to be considerate of each other and work things out.

Living with a roommate is the closest thing to being married as you're gonna get (without getting married). Think of it as your dress rehearsal and treat your roommates as you would want to be treated. The most important thing to remember is Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (and it's all small stuff!). That's not only the title of an excellent book, but it is also very true and very applicable. So the next time your roomie (or hubby) leaves a load in the dryer for three days, ask yourself, "In the grand scheme of things, does it matter??" NO!

PS - I love my Girlfriends