The Single Girl's Guide to V-Day

Valentine's Day used to be an equal opportunity holiday. It was fair back in first grade when everyone brought valentines for everyone and you were almost certain to get your choice of chocolate candy. There was no competition. There was no bitterness. There was no us versus them. It was fair. But now that we're older and everyone has paired off (or not paired off) it's not so fair anymore. If you're in a relationship or even talking to someone you can pretty much assume that Valentine's Day will consist of more than a depressing movie and a gallon of ice cream. You don't have to worry about pretending to be okay with it because you actually will be okay. But if you are single... oh if you are single... you get attacked by bears and candy and aisles of all red and pink as soon as Christmas is over! You plot and plan how you can get a man in those few short weeks so you're not alone on V-Day.

But I've got news for you! We don't have to live like this any longer! Don't let one day take over your mind! Whether you're single, dating, or even if it's complicated, I promise you February 14th will come and go and we will all make it. Instead of building up this day in your mind to be bigger than it really is, try starting a new tradition. As corny and depressing as it sounds, be your own Valentine! Do something for yourself and appreciate it. If the day is supposed to be about love then perhaps we should all start with loving ourselves. After all, no one can or will love you if you do not truly love yourself.

Another good thing about V-Day is that you don't have to be that annoying lovey dovey couple that ditches their friends for a Hallmark holiday. Spend Valentine's with your girlfriends! Take the time to do something for someone else. Send your friend a Valentine's Day card. Go out to a good movie. Whether it's a chick flick or if you're feeling more like My Bloody Valentine you'll have a good time together. Remember that moment in Sex and the City when Miranda and Carrie were both alone on New Year's Eve? They were kind of sad and lonely, but after Carrie rushed over to Miranda's to ring in the new year with her bff it made them feel better because even though the men in their lives were gone they still had each other.

But if all else fails.... attempt to find a date! I am definitely a fan of getting a good massage for yourself or going out with the girls to celebrate V-Day, but if you can put yourself out there and spend it with someone you are romantically attracted to that's even better! Sometimes all it takes is that initiative. Letting someone know you would like to get to know them better. Too often women get stuck in the I-can't-ask-a-guy-out mentality because we're told from such a young age that that's "the man's job". But sometimes you have to go after what you want. Make the first move. Put the ball in their court.

Regardless of how you spend this day, just remember that after all the hype and build up of February 14th comes... February 15th! It's just a day.

For more on Valentine's Day... check out last year's post! http://sexintheville.blogspot.com/2010/02/valentines-shmalentines.html

The Sex in "Sex in the Ville"

I recently had someone tweet me about how my twitter name (sexintheville) is misleading. And well they're right! I have struggled internally with the name of this blog/column since its inception. But after it came to me I just couldn't turn away from it. At first glance it looks like it's about the physical act of having sex. But this blog actually has less to do with that than I actually realized. My poor dad, when he saw it on my Visual CV (virtual resume) was like "What is this sexmeup.com stuff???!!" But I tried to explain to him that it was sex the noun, not the verb.

The title came from my love of the sitcom Sex and the City and my attempt to apply it to Farmville, the town I was in when I created it. I was already talking to my friends about relationships all the time anyway - giving them advice or just a listening ear and as a journalist by nature, like Carrie, I express my thoughts through my writing. So I decided to start a column to give relationship advice on problems my friends were experiencing or to just explore relationship issues that came up in my own life.

Once I had started the column/blog I began to see everything around me with the angle of how I could write about it. It grew from friends' problems to things on t.v. to classroom discussion sparking my interests. I enjoy unpacking the issues that we face daily in our quest for "Mr. Big". So as far as I know, this blog will continue to be focused on relationships and not so much sex despite its title.

And though I've done a couple of pieces on cheating and when you should "take it to the next level" I don't really discuss sex in this blog. It's more like Seventeen magazine than Cosmopolitan! And like my fellow tweeter said, that may be misleading, but I prefer to look at it as an attention-getter. It stands out and I like it!

What do you think? Should I change the name or do you like it as is??

Sometimes we just don't know what we want!

Last night, my roommate and I had a lovely night out on the town with dinner and a movie!
Our movie of choice - Sex and the City 2.

I am a long time fan of SATC (hence the tribute via the blog title) and have thoroughtly enjoyed the show as well as the first movie. So I was super excited to see the sequal, especially with one of my closest girlfriends. (Random sidenote, there was a couple in the theatre and that is just not a couples movie, that is definitely a girlfriend movie.)

Anywho, I just wanted to share my thoughts on the movie!

In this movie Carrie is adjusting to the married life. Only two years into their marriage, (though they've been on and off for years) Carrie and Big are still adjusting to being together full time. And though Carrie loves Big, she longs for the single gal's life she once lavished in as she strutted down the streets of New York.

Carrie goes through several adventures in the movie, including meeting up with Aiden, (yummy!) and all of these things only remind her of how much she loves Big. She tries to revert back to her single ways to avoid being an old married couple that just sits in front of the television and orders take out. But in the end, Carrie realizes that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being comfortable and settled in a stable relationship. She had been chasing after the man of her dreams for years (nearly a decade) and just didn't really know how to act once she finally got him (like many of us do).

Carrie finally settles down into a slower paced, married life (all the while looking fabulous of course!) and in the mean time she has a blast with her three best friends. The moral of the story is appreciate what you have, find really good friends, and keep them around.

So some people say it wasn't as good as the first one, while others say it was better than the first. But in my personal opinion, it was neither better than nor worse than the first. I think that it was an appropriate sequal that continued on the story of four friends and the men they love.

Famous SATC Quotes
"Big-Which is worse?" Carrie-"Samantha, the baby will eventully get tired..."
"Maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we’ve been dealt, and accessorize what we’ve got." — Carrie
"I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet." — Carrie