The Single Girl's Guide to V-Day

Valentine's Day used to be an equal opportunity holiday. It was fair back in first grade when everyone brought valentines for everyone and you were almost certain to get your choice of chocolate candy. There was no competition. There was no bitterness. There was no us versus them. It was fair. But now that we're older and everyone has paired off (or not paired off) it's not so fair anymore. If you're in a relationship or even talking to someone you can pretty much assume that Valentine's Day will consist of more than a depressing movie and a gallon of ice cream. You don't have to worry about pretending to be okay with it because you actually will be okay. But if you are single... oh if you are single... you get attacked by bears and candy and aisles of all red and pink as soon as Christmas is over! You plot and plan how you can get a man in those few short weeks so you're not alone on V-Day.

But I've got news for you! We don't have to live like this any longer! Don't let one day take over your mind! Whether you're single, dating, or even if it's complicated, I promise you February 14th will come and go and we will all make it. Instead of building up this day in your mind to be bigger than it really is, try starting a new tradition. As corny and depressing as it sounds, be your own Valentine! Do something for yourself and appreciate it. If the day is supposed to be about love then perhaps we should all start with loving ourselves. After all, no one can or will love you if you do not truly love yourself.

Another good thing about V-Day is that you don't have to be that annoying lovey dovey couple that ditches their friends for a Hallmark holiday. Spend Valentine's with your girlfriends! Take the time to do something for someone else. Send your friend a Valentine's Day card. Go out to a good movie. Whether it's a chick flick or if you're feeling more like My Bloody Valentine you'll have a good time together. Remember that moment in Sex and the City when Miranda and Carrie were both alone on New Year's Eve? They were kind of sad and lonely, but after Carrie rushed over to Miranda's to ring in the new year with her bff it made them feel better because even though the men in their lives were gone they still had each other.

But if all else fails.... attempt to find a date! I am definitely a fan of getting a good massage for yourself or going out with the girls to celebrate V-Day, but if you can put yourself out there and spend it with someone you are romantically attracted to that's even better! Sometimes all it takes is that initiative. Letting someone know you would like to get to know them better. Too often women get stuck in the I-can't-ask-a-guy-out mentality because we're told from such a young age that that's "the man's job". But sometimes you have to go after what you want. Make the first move. Put the ball in their court.

Regardless of how you spend this day, just remember that after all the hype and build up of February 14th comes... February 15th! It's just a day.

For more on Valentine's Day... check out last year's post! http://sexintheville.blogspot.com/2010/02/valentines-shmalentines.html

Valentine's Shmalentine's!

Love
The four-letter word that many fear to say
The four-letter word too many give away
On this Hallmark holiday that we've deamed V-Day
Some will be happy, some will be sad
Some will have boyfriend, some will have dad
Some will have no one, some will have friends
It's just another day, no matter how it ends.

As Valentine's Day approaches and I am constantly reminded of this watered-down excuse of a holiday, I just shake my head. SMH. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween... all of these have become commercialized by society, but they all at least began with a legitimate purpose. Christmas, Jesus. Thanksgiving, Appreciation. Halloween, Honoring the dead. Valentine's Day.... ????

At the end of the day it's just another day that we hype up a month in advance in attempts to make money, making people feel bad in the mean time. Men dread it because it means they have to be extra nice and romantic for no legitimate reason like a birthday or anniversary. Women dread it because if you're in a relationship he'll forget, and if you're not... well you're not! And not having someone to share this ridiculous holiday with is just down right depressing.

I am taking this weekend, not as Singles Awareness Day or Valentine's Day, but as Women's Empowerment Weekend! I am going to watch The Princess and the Frog on Friday to remind me that I, like Tiana, should focus on accomplishing my own dreams before obsessing over the whole Prince Charming concept. On Saturday I am treating myself to dinner and a movie with my roommate! And even though we're going to watch "Valentine's Day" and have our angry-man-hating moments, we will be happy because we will be together. (Plus romatic comedies give you hope... false hope, but hope nonetheless). On Sunday, I will conclude my Women's Empowerment Weekend with the Vagina Monologues! A play that really gets to the heart of women's issues and will hopefully bring good closure to our V-Day.

And as much as I would like a dozen roses on February 14th, I know that that's not going to happen! So instead of being upset and getting all worked up about this that and the other, why don't we all just have a really great weekend!