Money Matters Monday: Pump or Pay?

Is chivalry dead? And if it is, do we care??? Should a man pump and/or pay for gas? Does it matter anymore?

In this day and age, women are becoming more independent in heterosexual relationships and most couples share duties and responsibilities (or at least attempt to do so). Independent women across the world and specifically in America, are now learning to do things on their own that were once considered men's chores.

Take out the trash. Kill the bugs. Wash the cars. Pump the gas. We have asked so much of men in exchange for a few home-cooked meals and a clean house. We have asked them to do all of the dirty, grimy jobs because we were previously considered weak, dainty, and frail. But now words like strong and powerful are being associated with females as well as males. We are finding our strength in many aspects of our lives, but are there still some things that we expect a man to do?

My childhood upbringing tells me that the man in the relationship should always pump AND pay for the gas whenever present. I grew up with pretty conservative, traditional ideals, but the older I get, the more I lean towards a more liberal view on traditional male and female roles. And experiencing life as a single, black female in my twenties is teaching me to do things on my own. Learning to live life without leaning on my parents or a man has lead me to merge my traditional values with my recent feminist beliefs.

As far as pumping goes, I think that it would be nice and respectful for any man (cousin, brother, boyfriend, or dad) to pump gas for a lady, especially in the colder winter months. This tradition originally began because gas pumps were not as user-friendly as they are now. But I think it's still nice.

In terms of who should pay for the gas when dating, it depends. I would like to say that the man pays every time (because I'm a woman), but that's just unfair and unreasonable for any man. If it's my car and I am the one driving it, then I should not expect you to pay just because you happen to be riding in the car with me when I need to fill up. That's a little rude. BUT if you are borrowing my car or we are running earrands for you, you should AT LEAST offer to pay for gas. I don't know if anyone has noticed but gas is expensive nowadays!

According to AAA's Daily Fuel Gauge Report, the national average for gas prices is $3.04 for regular. The national average was $2.86 a month ago and $2.59 just a year ago. Meanwhile, I remember when it was only 99 cents. Gas prices reached $4.11 in 2008! If I'm taking you to work and to your mama's house and everywhere else you need to go, these favors don't come cheap. I also think it's only fair to offer gas money when someone has had to travel a long distance for a date or visit. But that should go for both men and women.

Comments from Fluther.com:

Your girlfriend is driving the car. Who pumps the gas?

In my case, it would be my wife driving the car and it would be me getting out to pump the gas.

A. Because it is the gentlemanly thing to do
B. The gas is going on my debit card anyway and it’s in my wallet
C. Refer to answer ‘A’

I can pump my own gas, thanks. Seriously though, bring me sour patch watermelons and a sour cherry slurpee. One of those metal straws that get super cold is a bonus. =]


If the tank is on the passenger side i will think about it (depending on my money situation) if not then i just sit there and wait, maybe go inside to get her a drink or something.

Here's what you said on Facebook!

SBC: If I am driving and a man is in the car, then he should pump the gas at the station.

Why I Need A Man

I must say that I am an independent woman. I can buy my own, take care of my own, and make it in a lot of things on my own. But when it comes to certain things in life ... the fact of the matter is I still need a man.

To make a long story short, my car just decided to act up and I of course I had no idea what to do. I called my first line of defense immediately - my mom, my dad, and my sister. But they were no help at all. At the end of the day I just had to make a decision on my own.

But I really needed a man to make a good mechanical decision because when it comes to cars I am completely clueless. I call my dad for help, but with him being so far away it would really help to have someone closer who could give me advice. I am pretty good about staying calm in stressful situations like this, but my biggest concern is that I will make the wrong choice as the mechanics spit out all of this information with their technical auto jargon of things that "have to be done". Are they just trying to get over on me because I'm a woman? Are they really looking out for my best interest?

I guess I'll never really know. And I'll never really know or understand why there are certain things in life that women still need men for, but in the meantime I will just try to utilize Google! I will make every effort to research and learn more about cars to educate myself so I won't end up in this situation again. As nice as it is to be dependent on men to do the masculine things, I must move beyond the stereotype and teach myself how to help myself. I am going to stay on top of my regular maintinance and services, get an auto emergency kit, and start saving to have emergency funds. I will be prepared for those times when there's just not a man around!


What I Need A Man For
1. Procreation
2. Companionship
3. Kill A Spider
4. Open Jars
5. Not-so-honest opinion
6. Meaningless Facts
7. Comfy Sleep Clothes
8. Lawn Work
9. Take out the Trash
10. Car Repair