Money Matters Monday: Women & Personal Finance

Personal finance is a difficult topic and it's something that most people don't like to talk about. There is no class that really teaches you how to manage your money and most people don't really talk to their parents about finances. But managing money is most difficult for women. But make sure you stay on top of your finances to counter the statistics that make managing money difficult for women.

Did you know....?

• Over 90% of all women will take sole responsibility for their financial decisions at some point in their lives
• 47% of first marriages and 49% of second marriages end in divorce
• 75% of women do not know how much they need to save for retirement
• Only 28%  of women 65 and older received pension benefits, versus 45% of men, and the median amount of men's pension income was twice that of women
• More single women ages 21-34 (53%) said they were living from paycheck to paycheck than did single young men (42%)

If you start saving and investing now you can learn how to manage your own money. Too often we as women go from our parent's house to our husband's house and never learn to live on our own. You've got to take control of your destiny and your finances on your own! With the resources and tools available you can make excellent financial choices that will prepare you for a better, more comfortable life ahead. Knowing how to manage your funds could also make you more attractive to your future mate! Research shows that men actually like a "cheap date" because they can appreciate frugality in a woman. So take time to budget, set financial goals, and plan for marriage, kids, retirement, and any other major life decisions. Waiting for things to happen will only cost you more in the long run. Remember, those who fail to plan plan to fail.

Books to Consider

• Women & Money by Suze Orman
• Personal Finance: Turning Money Into Wealth by Arthur J. Keown
• Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki

Money Matters Monday - The Secret Stash!

For this week's Money Matters Monday I want to uncover one of the biggest delimmas in a new marriage - Should a married couple have a joint account, separate accounts, or both?

**Warning I am not married and am therefore not attempting to give marital advice. If you are seeking marital advice I suggest you seek a liscensed professional. I am simply a single woman speaking from my own prosepective.

When two become one it seems like both lives should just merge perfectly together... but it doesn't quite work that way. It's actually very difficult to merge two individuals even if they're in love. When you're young and dumb you think love can conquer all and solve anything! But when you wake up and the real world smacks you in the face you realize that joining two lives is not as simple as jumping over a broom. You wind up with two couches, two blenders, two t.v.s and two bank accounts. And you'll probably end up fighting over whose is better and whether to keep both or pick one. But when it comes to finances should we merge our money? There are three different approaches you can take to marriage and money. You can either get a joint account, maintain your seperate accounts, or keep a secret stash!

Ideally speaking, once you put those rings on, there should be no more I and everything should become we. Having seperate accounts suggests that you are still individuals and not in the marriage together. If you're going to share your life together, you should be able to share a bank account and manage your funds together. Besides, when you get married you have joint expenses (like rent and stuff for the kids) so you might as well have a joint account.

Though I am always a fan of joint accounts, it makes me a little nervous to say throw it all in the pot. When you hear those stories about romances gone wrong and women being thrown out on the street without a dime to their name.... kinda makes you think twice! Even though marriage is supposed to be "happily ever after" in the back of your mind sometimes you have to think about the what ifs. What if he goes crazy and leaves me after I've invested all my time, money, and child-bearing hips? What if she changes after we get married? What if this just doesn't work out??? I hate to plan for the divorce while planning for the wedding, but if you keep your money seperate from the beginning it does make things easier if you do have to plan for the what ifs. But if you decide to both have seperate accounts at least it keeps things fair.

The third choice is not one that I recommend for a healthy marriage! But I had to mention it. ;) You could always have a joint account with your spouse and have your own secret stash somewhere that they don't know about. Money is a touchy subject though and is often at the root of most divorces so do not opt for this choice! Having your own secret stash could be handy when you want something that doesn't necessarily fit into the "household budget", but just remember that secrets always come out. What's done in the dark will come to the light. When your spouse wonders where you got the money for that new flat screen tv or those new Louboutins you'll have some explaining to do!

Financial guru Suze Orman suggests that new couples keep everything seperate until they clear up the debt they brought into the relationship. New couples often have school loans, credit card debt, and many more financial woes especially after spending thousands on a wedding. Take some time to put a dent in your individual debt and then once you become what Orman calls "more financially intimate" with each other, then maybe you can put all your gold in one pot. (Financially intimate = get to know how they manage money, their spending habits, etc.)

Whatever you decide, the important thing to do is communicate. You've got to be on one accord and talk about what works best for the two of you because every couple is different. In the end you may find that a Yours, Mine & Ours approach may work. That way you use the joint account for joint expenses like rent or lunch money for the kids and allot a certain amount to go towards your seperate accounts for personal splurges like haircuts and nail appointments. Just find a financial plan that works and try not to fight about it!

For help managing your funds (joint or seperate) check out Mint, the free way to manage all of your financial accounts!

Money Matters Monday: Pump or Pay?

Is chivalry dead? And if it is, do we care??? Should a man pump and/or pay for gas? Does it matter anymore?

In this day and age, women are becoming more independent in heterosexual relationships and most couples share duties and responsibilities (or at least attempt to do so). Independent women across the world and specifically in America, are now learning to do things on their own that were once considered men's chores.

Take out the trash. Kill the bugs. Wash the cars. Pump the gas. We have asked so much of men in exchange for a few home-cooked meals and a clean house. We have asked them to do all of the dirty, grimy jobs because we were previously considered weak, dainty, and frail. But now words like strong and powerful are being associated with females as well as males. We are finding our strength in many aspects of our lives, but are there still some things that we expect a man to do?

My childhood upbringing tells me that the man in the relationship should always pump AND pay for the gas whenever present. I grew up with pretty conservative, traditional ideals, but the older I get, the more I lean towards a more liberal view on traditional male and female roles. And experiencing life as a single, black female in my twenties is teaching me to do things on my own. Learning to live life without leaning on my parents or a man has lead me to merge my traditional values with my recent feminist beliefs.

As far as pumping goes, I think that it would be nice and respectful for any man (cousin, brother, boyfriend, or dad) to pump gas for a lady, especially in the colder winter months. This tradition originally began because gas pumps were not as user-friendly as they are now. But I think it's still nice.

In terms of who should pay for the gas when dating, it depends. I would like to say that the man pays every time (because I'm a woman), but that's just unfair and unreasonable for any man. If it's my car and I am the one driving it, then I should not expect you to pay just because you happen to be riding in the car with me when I need to fill up. That's a little rude. BUT if you are borrowing my car or we are running earrands for you, you should AT LEAST offer to pay for gas. I don't know if anyone has noticed but gas is expensive nowadays!

According to AAA's Daily Fuel Gauge Report, the national average for gas prices is $3.04 for regular. The national average was $2.86 a month ago and $2.59 just a year ago. Meanwhile, I remember when it was only 99 cents. Gas prices reached $4.11 in 2008! If I'm taking you to work and to your mama's house and everywhere else you need to go, these favors don't come cheap. I also think it's only fair to offer gas money when someone has had to travel a long distance for a date or visit. But that should go for both men and women.

Comments from Fluther.com:

Your girlfriend is driving the car. Who pumps the gas?

In my case, it would be my wife driving the car and it would be me getting out to pump the gas.

A. Because it is the gentlemanly thing to do
B. The gas is going on my debit card anyway and it’s in my wallet
C. Refer to answer ‘A’

I can pump my own gas, thanks. Seriously though, bring me sour patch watermelons and a sour cherry slurpee. One of those metal straws that get super cold is a bonus. =]


If the tank is on the passenger side i will think about it (depending on my money situation) if not then i just sit there and wait, maybe go inside to get her a drink or something.

Here's what you said on Facebook!

SBC: If I am driving and a man is in the car, then he should pump the gas at the station.

Money Matters Monday: When 2 Become 1

While I am not quite ready for marriage... I do like to occassionally get my ducks in a row (or at least think about doing so) in the meantime. For the Money Matters Monday segment I want to focus on money and relationships. When it comes to love and loot, Are you Financially ready to join another person?

When you're single, you can be as frivolous with money as you want. Go out to eat all you want. Buy those fabulous pairs of shoes and the matching handbags. You can loan money to friends and you can basically live month to month, paycheck to paycheck without concern for saving for the future. But if you have any plans for co-habitating, getting married, or having a family in the future you may want to consider some financial planning.

Knowing where you stand in terms of fiscal fitness will help with your relationship because you will be well-equipped to join forces with another person if you plan for that future now. You may be dating someone now or you may be single, but either way when the time comes for you to buy a house, plan a wedding, have kids, and send those kids to college, you want to be financially able to do so. One of my favorite sayings is, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

It would be beneficial to have an emergency fund for a rainy day, a retirement fund, or at least a savings account. Years fly by and before you know it you look up and you are at the stage in your life that you remember only dreaming about. Even if you don't think you want to get married or have kids, wouldn't it be better to just save up for these things just in case they happen?

If, for instance, a couple began saving just $50 each per month six months into the relationship and dated for five and a half years before getting engaged, they would have $6000 saved for a wedding. Personally, I don't think weddings should cost that much, but the average wedding cost is estimated between $14,868 and $24,476 (excluding the cost for engagement rings and a honeymoon)!

And don't forget about kids! About half of Americans choose to have children and about half do not, but if you do decide to have children, that also impacts your finances. Raising a kid from birth to age 18 will cost an estimated $178,590! And that is not including the cost of college.

While getting married and having kids may not sound like financial decisions they are actually all dollars and cents (and love and emotion lol). So take some time to plan ahead! Depending on what stage in your life you are currently, your financial plan and goals will vary, but just make sure you put a plan in action. Don't just stop there, actually follow through!

There are 5 Main Steps in the Financial Planning Process (Kewon, 2007)

1. Evaluate Your Financial Health
2. Define Your Financial Goals
3. Develop a Plan of Action
4. Implement Your Plan
5. Review Your Progress, Reevaluate, and Revise Your Plan