Money Matters Monday: When 2 Become 1

While I am not quite ready for marriage... I do like to occassionally get my ducks in a row (or at least think about doing so) in the meantime. For the Money Matters Monday segment I want to focus on money and relationships. When it comes to love and loot, Are you Financially ready to join another person?

When you're single, you can be as frivolous with money as you want. Go out to eat all you want. Buy those fabulous pairs of shoes and the matching handbags. You can loan money to friends and you can basically live month to month, paycheck to paycheck without concern for saving for the future. But if you have any plans for co-habitating, getting married, or having a family in the future you may want to consider some financial planning.

Knowing where you stand in terms of fiscal fitness will help with your relationship because you will be well-equipped to join forces with another person if you plan for that future now. You may be dating someone now or you may be single, but either way when the time comes for you to buy a house, plan a wedding, have kids, and send those kids to college, you want to be financially able to do so. One of my favorite sayings is, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

It would be beneficial to have an emergency fund for a rainy day, a retirement fund, or at least a savings account. Years fly by and before you know it you look up and you are at the stage in your life that you remember only dreaming about. Even if you don't think you want to get married or have kids, wouldn't it be better to just save up for these things just in case they happen?

If, for instance, a couple began saving just $50 each per month six months into the relationship and dated for five and a half years before getting engaged, they would have $6000 saved for a wedding. Personally, I don't think weddings should cost that much, but the average wedding cost is estimated between $14,868 and $24,476 (excluding the cost for engagement rings and a honeymoon)!

And don't forget about kids! About half of Americans choose to have children and about half do not, but if you do decide to have children, that also impacts your finances. Raising a kid from birth to age 18 will cost an estimated $178,590! And that is not including the cost of college.

While getting married and having kids may not sound like financial decisions they are actually all dollars and cents (and love and emotion lol). So take some time to plan ahead! Depending on what stage in your life you are currently, your financial plan and goals will vary, but just make sure you put a plan in action. Don't just stop there, actually follow through!

There are 5 Main Steps in the Financial Planning Process (Kewon, 2007)

1. Evaluate Your Financial Health
2. Define Your Financial Goals
3. Develop a Plan of Action
4. Implement Your Plan
5. Review Your Progress, Reevaluate, and Revise Your Plan

Career Crossroads

Flight Attendant, Lawyer, Photographer, Journalist. Though I've had several dreams and aspirations of what to be when I "grow up", I pretty much had it settled that I would become a reporter by eighth grade. Most men, however, are still figuring it out... Why?!

Why is it that men always seem to be wandering through life aimlessly or chasing some pipe dream? Meanwhile, women are so focused on chasing their careers that they have absolutely no time to chase (or be chased by) a man.

I'm not sure if it began with Rosie the Riveter or if it started when mass amounts of women went to work in the 80s, but somewhere along the way women took over the corporate world. It seems to me that women are just much more focused on their careers than men, starting as early as high school. Women are more focused and concerned about applying to colleges, taking all the AP classes, and getting a high GPA to get into the best schools possible. Men wait until the last possible minute to apply to colleges, are less likely to take AP or Dual Enrollment courses, and tend not to put forth the extra effort in class and just do enough to get by.

Then once we get to college, the proof is in the pudding. The proportion of men to women at universities and colleges today is unbelievable. "There are more men than women ages 18-24 in the USA — 15 million vs. 14.2 million, according to a Census Bureau estimate last year. But nationally, the male/female ratio on campus today is 43/57, a reversal from the late 1960s and well beyond the nearly even splits of the mid-1970s." (USA Today) At my school the statistics are worse than the national average, at only 31% male.

This recent trend presents us with several problems in our love lives. For starters, if men are flaky and women are focused in their career worlds than they will be the same way in their relationships. Men will treat the relationship as something casual and less concrete until they have narrowed in on a career path. They cannot fully commit to you until they no what their purpose in life is and how they can adequately provide for you. It's in their nature. We are not historically, the head of the household, so we tend to be less concerned with the weight that comes with trying to provide for a family.

Another issue with this is the fact that it forces women to choose between their romance and their careers. It's difficult for women to find love when they are surrounded by men who are going nowhere fast. We need partners who will uplift us, encourage us, inspire us. But instead we end up motivating them into a career. Eventually either he leaves because he feels inferior or she leaves in search of someone on her level. It's a lose-lose situation either way.

This is a never-ending issue that we all face at one point or another, but all we can do is be patient. Keep chasing your dream and your dream guy will appear at the right time. But whatever you do, never settle for less than your best.

Do women have to give up love for success?

After a long day's work, I came home and made dinner, did the laundry, and still had time to put my feet up and flip between America's Next Top Model and America's Got Talent. But the beauty of this is the fact that I just had to take care of myself. I do not (thank God) have any kids or a husband or anyone else to think about when I get home. So for this week I am wondering: Can we have it all? Or do women have to give up love for success???



In today's world of oober independent, strong women the media gives off the message that the lifestyle of the 1950s wife is no longer necessary. It is now more important for most women to climb the corporate ladder than it is to find a man, marry and multiply. A recent study by the Pew Research Center even suggests that 18% of women in America have not had kids by age 40. And of course this is a complicated study with multiple factors that I will cover later ... but my point is, the growing trend in America is to focus on your future in terms of your career as oppossed to a family.

And according to Forbes.com, No, You Can't Have It All! This article says that their are three exceptions to this rule: having a "house husband", having a flexible work schedule, and having a nanny. But even these offer a "watered-down" version of parenting. And the article suggests that someone who tries to balance both may never make it to the top in her career. The author writes, "It may be in some ways the ideal compromise, but once a woman is no longer available 24-7, she is sure to lose out to her male counterparts."

So even though I am several years away from needing to know how to even try to balance a career and a family, it is something that I think about. This is the time when the climb on the corporate ladder begins. And everything from here on will determine my future. This is the time where we determine and develop our futures. Though the long term is trying to balance soccer practice and business meetings, the short term is trying to balance the full time internship and the dating world. So even though this seems far off, it's actually pretty complicated now too.

While it may seem difficult and perhaps impossible to "have it all", I will still strive to conquer both a successful career and a successful love life. Because there is hope out there for those of us who try to be Superwoman and have it all.



Here's what you said on Twitter:
skeyz91 @sexintheville "No unless they make it their decision. Many women have balanced love and success and had gr8 lives."