They Began as College Sweethearts...



Prince William & Kate Middleton



They began as college sweethearts, but today Kate & William start their new lives together as husband and wife. This real life fairytale is providing American's with a taste of royalty. This story is one of romance and fantasy and love. The future King & Queen of England, however, took almost ten years to make it to the alter. This beautiful love story just offers us warm and fuzzies and so much false hope! It sends the message that if you just wait.... and wait like Kate you too can marry the man of your dreams. But it doesn't really happen that way.

The couple met in college and dated off and on for almost ten years. He said to her in 2007, be patient and I will make you my wife eventually and she was, and he did. But is this romantic story the exception or the rule?

Should you wait on the one you love or move on with your life???

I think about this question almost every day. You always here from older adults about "the one that got away" and it kind of makes you wonder. How do you know when the one is "The One" or the one to let go. Sometimes you need to move on and sometimes you need to go back! But how do you know the difference between the two?

William fell in love with Kate at the age of 19, but he wasn't quite ready to committ early on in their relationship. As a young soldier, he worked hard and played hard too! He lived it up and partied a bit before getting down on one knee. But, I am not attempting to bash William, because I love Prince William! So let me just say that I am not teamKate or teamWilliam, but I am teamWillandKate.

Anywho, Will & Kate eventually got married (today) after a long courtship. But I sympathize for both individuals in this situation. As a woman, I feel for Kate waiting and waiting on the ring. It is very difficult to give someone your heart and know that you want to marry them, but end up waiting and waiting for years. On the other hand, I understand why Will (or any man) would want to be a bit more cautious in matters of the heart. Especially when you think about the fact that William suffered through his parents' traumatic divorce, it makes sense for him to be more careful.

Marriage is supposed to be forever so if you really do have forever, does it really matter when forever starts? We all want to find that one special someone that we're supposed to spend forever with, but you really just never know how the fairytale will unfold.

The Absence of You

The Absence of You

I have nothing to distract me from the absence of you

My distractions are all gone and you’ve left too

I think of you night and day

You seem to haunt me that way

And there’s nothing to distract me from the absence of you

There’s nothing to distract me from the absence of you

You’ve crept into my brain and you’ve stayed there too

Your body’s been gone but the memories linger on

And there’s nothing to distract me from the absence of you

There’s nothing to distract me from the pain of you

I wish I could hurt you so you’d feel it too

One heart bleeds while the other heart leaves

And there’s nothing to distract me from the pain of you.

Going the Distance - Movie Review

My sister and I recently picked up Going The Distance with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long as our Redbox chick flick of choice. Drew Barrymore comes from a family of movie stars and was a child star turned adult actess, but is most famous for her roles in E.T., Never Been Kissed, and Ever After. Justin Long is known as the jerk who eventually falls in love in the movie He's Just Not That Into You, but also starred in Alivin and the Chipmunks and The Break Up.

According to the Internet Movie Database (IMDb), this movie is "a romantic comedy centered on a guy and a gal who try to keep their love alive as they shuttle back and forth between New York and San Francisco to see one another".  This movie begins with a random hook up between two adult strangers, but when Drew Barrymore's character reveals that she is only in town for short time, the two decide to leave it at that. Of course that is always easier said than done. They start off atempting to keep it casual, but eventually begin dating and attempt to "go the distance". The two did as we all do when starting a long distance relationship - 'I'll be here and you'll be there and we'll make it work'. They texted, talked on the phone, video-chatted, and made those cross-country flights to see each other in attempts to 'make it work'.

This movie takes you through the emotional rollercoaster that is the long-distance relationship as you hope for things to work out but secretly know they won't. The movie finally gets to a point where the relationship ends like most long distance relationships - with tears and sad goodbyes. They both knew they had something great, but couldn't continue on. Of course it was a movie so they end up together... lol

And now enough description, on to the review! The movie was very crazy. I initially was confused as to why it was rated R. But soon and very soon I discovered the graphic nature of the movie. I wasn't expecting them to show as much as they did and to drop as many F-bombs as they did, but that did warrant the R-rating. But aside from the craziness and random debauchary, Going The Distance was a pretty good movie. It had its funny moments and had its romantic moments so overall it was a good romantic comedy. I like Drew Berrymore and Justin Long and Christina Applegate (who plays Barrymore's sister). And the real-life romance between the two helps as the chemistry shines through on both parts. So the next time you need a movie for a buck per day, just check out Going The Distance, but be sure there are no kids around!




"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great."
-Roger de Bussy-Rabutin
 
For other posts on long distance relationships click here!

The Unhappy Un-Anniversary

So what do you do when a certain day of the year comes around and you suddenly remember that it used to be significant? You're just walking around all day remembering that date... but that date that was once so special is now just another day. . .

Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary

    - Ne-yo, "So Sick" lyrics

Forgetting the date is better than remembering the date. Remembering the date makes the whole day one big depressing re-run. You end up just walking around aimlessly angry at every happy couple. The key to making it through this day is to try to remember to forget it. But if you can't seem to avoid calendars and other reminders, just live in the depression. It can be purifying to allow yourself to feel these emotions. Call your best friend and tell them what the day is or was and what it means to you and how it makes you feel. Get those thoughts outside of your head and that could be just the cure for your heartache. Sometimes when you're going through a break up you don't really mourn the relationship because you're trying to convince yourself you're okay and "happy" being single. But when the anniversary rolls around you remember that you haven't had a chance to feel your feelings. So take this day and allow yourself to be all in your feelings.

But don't wallow too long! You can't allow the sadness to affect your overall state of mind. He who angers you, controls you. It is very important to move on and not let this one date on the calendar affect your whole day. Don't spend the day wondering what they're doing, what they're thinking and if they're hurting like you are. Instead, try to distract yourself from this day. Do what you normally do or do something new and exciting! Just make sure you have a good day and most of all, RELAX.

Relationships are hard and break-ups are harder and sometimes it can take you longer than you'd expect to get over someone. Someone once said it takes half the length of the relationship to get over your ex. So if you were together for four years it could take two years to fully recover! That seems like a really long time so in the meantime, you just have to be patient with yourself. Be understanding when it gets a little difficult. Just have a strong support system of friends and family who can help you remember that everything happens for a reason.

Top Ten Things Not to do on your Un-Anniversary

1. Take long walks near bridges
2. Watch Romantic Comedies
3. Hang out with friends who are in relationships
4. Drunk dial your ex
5. Drunk text your ex
6. Flip through old pictures from the "good times"
7. Go on a shopping spree that you can't afford
8. Stuff your face with chocolate and ice cream
9. Go on a first date
10. Facebook stalk your ex and/or their new boo

Here's what you said on Facebook!

SIV:   What do you do when your ex-anniversary comes around...? How do you handle it?

JB:     text him and say happy friendaversary :)
AW:   Go out. get trashed. & never look back <3.

Love is for Losers!

Do you ever just get to the point where you are just tired of the whole idea of love?

Well I do! I feel like we go through the ups and downs of these emotional roller coasters of love and sometimes it can really be exhausting. Your heart is a muscle afterall so I believe that all of the stress and strain that we place on it in the process of love can possibly wear it out.

 We go through so much in relationships sometimes and we don't allow ourselves time to heal and repair. Our hearts are much more fragile than we think. I know that just talking with my best friends about their guy problems hurts my heart, so surely it must be that much worse when you're going through it.

Because of all of the ups and downs that relationships (and non-relationships) put you through, it becomes difficult to make it through your day to day with a heavy heart of hurt. I sometimes find myself just angry at those who are in happy relationships because of all of my heart hurt. Sometimes you just get to a point where you're just like "Booooo love!" in the words of one of my dear friends. Lol

It seems like everywhere I turn there's some happy-go-lucky couple with their kissy-face profile pics or some overly excited girlfriend talking about how much she misses her boo when she just saw him earlier that day! And don't even get me started on romantic comedies. Now don't get me wrong, I love me some rom-coms but sometimes when I'm in one of those love-is-for-losers moods, I just want to hurl the remote at the tv screen!

 I have come to the conclusion that I am just going to have to take this time to get to know myself. I don't even have the energy to fall or be in love right now. I'm so focused on me that I cannot even concern myself with another person. So for now, this hopeless romantic will just not be in the mood for sappy "love".

Love is for Losers! Rom Coms to avoid:

• The Notebook
• When Harry Met Sally
• You've Got Mail
• Sleepless in Seattle
• Bridget Jones's Diary
• Notting Hill
• Titanic

Aren't ya glad you didn't marry HIM!!!

Can you imagine what it would be like if you had married all of your exes? Or even worse, if you'd had kids with them? I think I have pretty good taste and pretty high standards, but when I look at where some of my exes are now ... boy am I grateful they're exes!

At the time, break-ups seem like the worst possible scenario ever. You still love, or at least care about the person and can't imagine them being a part of your past instead of your future. But hindsight is 20/20! When you bump into your exes at the grocery store or in the mall and you see what they look like now! Whew! Dodged a bullet!

I have three exes in particular that just make me shake my head and wonder where they went wrong. I would just like to say that they were good, upstanding young men when I was with them.

1. I recently discovered that one of my exes has transformed into a wanna-be Thug. He had his shirt tucked in when he was with me! I actually met him at a Young Writer's summer program at the community college. And I had to break up with him because he was so much of a momma's boy! She wouldn't hardly let him do anything and I just couldn't handle that. But look at him now. One of my best friends sent me his Facebook pics and it is a shame! I almost started crying looking at how much he has changed for the worse. I'm not going to say his name, but let me say that it is not at all hood or thug or "goon status". Gold chains, gold teeth, and all tatted up! Thank goodness I broke up with him when I did!

2. One of my exes is rumored to be a homosexual (Gay). He never told me that he was/is, so I always say "allegedly" or "supposedly" until it's confirmed firsthand. But I must admit that he was very emotional and open and available and I just thought he was sensitive because he was raised by his mother and grandmother, but... who knows. He did get his hair cut every week, whiten his teeth, and take longer to get ready then me, but... who knows. He was a great boyfriend though, knew me inside/out. But I broke up with him because I wanted to start dating someone else, so I guess I'll never know...

3. One of my other exes is now somebody's Baby daddy. :( I'm not trying to judge or say I wouldn't date someone with a kid, but I'm just sayin you can't afford me if you're buyin Huggies!!! I am pretty high-maintenance and I'm not afraid to say it. I have been spoiled by my parents, my sister, and my last boyfriend and I cannot go down from that. There's no turning back. I just don't see how you can afford to take me out when you've got to dish out the child support! Maybe when I get older more men my age will have babies, but for now I can date single men without children. He did try to talk to me again when I saw him at a party, and I was reminded of how sweet and cute he was, but I just kept thinking Huggies, Huggies...

Who's Really to Blame???

When a relationship ends it can end pretty ugly leaving tears flowing on either side. The question is always who is to blame? You have to blame someone right? If it all comes crashing down on you like an avalanche, the relationship must have ended because someone at some point did something so terribly wrong.

Most females pick one of the two responses - Men suck or it's all my fault.

I hate to see us go down the it's-all-my-fault road, because that only sends you into a spiraling lane of misery and self-destruction. After a break-up, the last thing you need is to pick apart every single thing you did wrong and what you could have done to make it work. The truth is, there's probably nothing you could have done to make it work. If someone wants to be with you, I mean really wants to be with you, they will! Flaws and all. You can work through most of the little things, so any little thing you said or did would not have changed the outcome of the situation. It is important to know that it IS NOT your fault. (And even if it is, blaming yourself WILL NOT help or change the situation).

So get off the couch, stop eating that gallon of ice cream and go for my personal favorite approach. Men suck!

It's all their fault, and until they realize the error of their ways, you are much better off without them! So often, men break up with girls and make up reasons why it wasn't working that make it seem like it's all your fault, but it's not. The reality of the situation is that they are the one with the problems and issues that they need to work out. You are perfectly fine just the way you are, and they are just not ready. They don't know how to handle being with someone like you. And even though it's gonna hurt, and he's gonna blame you, you have got to just get out your one good cry, and then keep it movin!

You have to take some time to step outside of the situation and see it for what it's worth. This may seem like the worst thing that could possibly happen to you at this point in your life, but in all actuality, this may be the biggest favor somebody could do to you. When people show you who they are, believe them.

PS - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not spend your days wondering about "the other woman" and how you don't measure up to her. Believe me, the grass is always brown on the other side!